Lutheran Sushi (aka Pickle Roll-Ups)

Obviously, kids love finger-foods and pickles so these are right up their alley and while adults might turn up their noses at them, they are going to eat all of them before you leave. So don't be fooled by any holier-than-thou attitudes - they are all HYPOCRITES I tell you! 😂

Now that we clearly understand how the church plays into all of this, we need to talk about ingredients. When you have a recipe that only has three ingredients, those ingredients become much more important, so why settle for chemical ham from a factory when you can have the real, old-fashioned ham that is lightyears more satisfying in texture and taste? Plus you're already on our site, just click that ham link above and make people wonder what it is about YOUR pickle roll-ups that make them SO. DARN. GOOD. I mean, they are already going to talk about you at the potluck, may as well give 'em somethin' to talk about!

• Lay the ham out (pat dry if you prefer, eat a couple pieces that look funny - using whatever criteria for "funny" you want to make up)
• Spread the cream cheese onto the ham - thick or thin - this is your party!
• Dry your pickles in order to avoid a watery mess in the bottom of your container (is this sounding dirty because of all the religious talk? maybe say a quick prayer for me)
• Slice the pickles length-wise into quarters. (Eat a pickle to make sure they are good.)
• Place a pickle spear at the edge of the cream cheese-covered-ham and roll 'em up!
• Slice your ham + cream cheese + pickle roll into rounds (one bite-full per slice) and secure with a toothpick.

Pro-tips (oh, yeah, I spent a lot of years in a Lutheran church, we're about to get serious):

• let your cream cheese come to room temp for easier spreading (or nuke for a second) and/or put the cream cheese in a small ziplock bag, cut off the corner and "pipe" it on the ham like frosting!
• After rolling 'em up, stick them in the fridge for an hour to get everything chilled and stiffened up a bit - makes for easier slicing.

Now, wanna get crazy? This could explain all the divisions within the Lutheran church so proceed with CAUTION....

• Spice things up (in the kitchen! nowhere else!) and add some horseradish to your cream cheese!
• Does size matter?
• replace traditional dill pickles with gherkins or tiny dills - you get more CRUNCH.
• Experiment (I know this is a dirty word! probably don't share this recipe with your pastor) with pickle size: do they need to be sliced up at all - maybe whole is more your style? Can they be sliced even smaller - then you can get a tighter roll vs a spear.
• Mix 1/4 cup of mayo and 1 dry packet of Ranch to the cream cheese for some extra flavor (this is for the Ranch die-hards among us).
• Replace the ham with our deli-sliced beef.
• But whatever you do, for goodness sake, do NOT replace the ham with a flour tortilla - what are you Roman Catholic?!?!

Good grief, I gotta go read my Bible for a bit.....